- When a guest is checking in, pretend you didn’t see them. Continue to talk on your phone, clip your nails or do whatever you are doing until you are ready.
- Don’t pick up that ringing phone until it has rung at least 15 times, they will eventually give up and go away.
- Don’t smile when dealing with those pesky guests. They will avoid you next time.
- When you’re serving in the restaurant or bar, ensure you are chewing a bubble gum and blow bubbles while you’re at it. That should ruin their appetites!
- When guests are relaxing, barge into their conversation! Bore them to death with your mindless chatter.
- If you are asked for information, roll your eyeballs north, flare your nostrils, shrug your shoulders and walk away.
- Avoid answering any guest email enquiries within a week!
This column has been published in the Apia Financial Review and is reproduced herewith for your reading pleasure. It is a different take and perspective rather than the straight forward advice column...so a bit of tongue in cheek approach!!!